Forget About It -- Men Are from Mars

by Brian Flannery

One frustrating problem with kids is when they forget.
"What did I just say?" "Where did you put it?" "What did you do with Daddy's phone?" "Who hit the baby?"
(Respond all together as one "I dunno" chorus.)

Other frustrating problems with kids:
Potty training, diaper escaping, potty accidents, bet wetting.
Biting, hitting, fighting, rivalry, bullying, jealousy, favoritism.
Lying, embellishment, manipulation.
Busy, clumsy, break everything, nothing is safe or truly baby-proof.
Not sleeping through the night, bad dreams.
Licking light bulbs ("That's not candy!").
Hair pins in the electrical outlets.
Spoiled nagging whininess.
Stranger/separation anxiety, childcare crying, over-friendliness with strangers.
TV/no TV, sugar/no sugar, cow's milk/goat/human/soy/rice.
Growing too fast for their clothes, too slow for their age.
Failure to thrive or childhood obesity or stomach flu or other medical concerns.
When your wife rents that horrible movie, My Sister's Keeper.
(I cried at the trailer. Don't tell the other POPS!.)


I have no problem recalling this list of annoyances. I have a good memory. I don't forget things like a two-year-old.

Sometimes I do forget. For instance, I forgot one important problem with kids: That kids are not supposed to be a problem.

I don't just mean in the "seen and not heard" sense. (That would be nice.) I mean we can get too busy providing for them and disciplining them and educating them and changing them, sanitizing them, reorganizing, recombobulating, chauffeuring and emergency-room-waiting that we forget to be with them. Smile at them. Play. Hug. Love.

When I was home all the time, they were the obstacle. I wasn't getting any work done and I certainly wasn't making any money with these kids crawling all over me. Now that I am away nine hours every day, they are the missing part of the day. I see them before they go to bed, maybe.

I will leave it up to you to hum "Cat's in the Cradle" to yourself.

Remember! For it is the doom of men that they forget.

-Brian the old softy

Next week:
The important difference between swearing around your children and swearing at your children. Plus, that unsung nuance of parental profanity, swearing with your children.

.